such a happy year ahead of me I really thought so, what a -- joke I'm just saying how I'm feeling (don't go) you're missing the point that I'm making (point that I'm aching, point that I'm breaking) can you see me yet? I can't, can you see me yet? I can't it was just a thought but damn did I latch on onto any possibility that this would be the one ha ha ha instead a giant part of me died I couldnt mourn had more important thing to do like survive, now it feels cold, cold such a -- (what can one do? everything'll change on the count of two) year behind me (3? 4? that's how many times I can do this more?) I really hope so I really hope so such a -- year behind me i really hope so i really hope so